He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
