I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The struggles of a small town man whore
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
