You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
