He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
