apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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