At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
