How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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