Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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