Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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