two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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