she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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