"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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