Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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