she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
