i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it hurts more in the daytime
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
