so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
