I heard we made out
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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