Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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