I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
