it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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