i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
