Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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