I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
