this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
