Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
