I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
