Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
