I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
