it wasn't lemon gatorade
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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