with your own penis?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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