it's like iHOP with fire
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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