It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
