Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
