are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
