a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
