dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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