What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Welp...herpes.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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