Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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