I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
