Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
