I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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