Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
