I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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