shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have feelings that need drinking.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
