she looked like the bat from fern gully.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I wear drunk well.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
