you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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