Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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