You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
