Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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