a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
