I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
